well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
