sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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