she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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