Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
