I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
