is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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