Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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