You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
