In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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