Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
