I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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