the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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