If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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