I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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