At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
