You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
