Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
