What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
