i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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