oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
