oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This is my gift to your gina
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
