She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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