..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
