And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
