Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
time to smoke my breakfast
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My ATM looks so different sober.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
