she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
