I love black thongs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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