FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
