well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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