i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
