Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
