There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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