So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you traded sex for a burrito?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think my moral compass just broke
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