Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
