The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So much rum. So many feels.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize