8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
