i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
