Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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