You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He passed out mid-signature
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
