I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
