pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
