first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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