so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i will never coherently bang her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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