Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize