There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
