There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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