i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
