she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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