..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
