I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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