You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
