my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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