i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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