Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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