Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
