I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
