we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
