I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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