PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
