remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
