My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize