We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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