his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
