We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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