Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
