I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
